What I Talk About When I Talk About Moka Kamishiraishi (Adieu)
The ‘What I Talk About When I Talk About’ title is borrowed from Murakami-related texts
There is easily an extensive and impressive array of creative works with Moka Kamishiraishi/Adieu’s involvement from films, music, through to radio, listed on Wikipedia, among other sites.
But what are the insights and highlights of Moka Kamishiraishi’s career? In the arts world, how does she set a standard, or represent our (especially the dragons, 2000-borns) generation’s values?
On radio
“I think a lot about what kind of programme it should be every time I do it. I prepare very carefully, writing down what I want to talk about in advance in my notebook and putting sticky notes on the key pages of the books I plan to introduce.”
How do you deal with the pressure you feel when you take on a new challenge?
“You can’t fake being nervous or feeling pressure no matter how you try. So I try to accept myself without denying it. The scariest thing is when I don’t know what I’m feeling at the moment. I feel a little better when I can honestly accept the pressure and say, “I’m nervous right now” without any pretence.”
The TV drama ‘Year 3 Class A — From now on, you are all hostages’, which aired in 2019, was a drama that dealt with slander on social networking sites as one of its themes. One should choose words carefully and value the power of words very highly.
On abusive or hurtful language
“I feel the horror of the fact that a single manipulative word at your fingertips can hurt people on a daily basis. Starring in ‘Year 3 Class A — From now on, you are all hostages’ also made me think more deeply about what I should do to prevent words from hurting people. How to deal with words is also my own challenge … both athletes and actors stand in public and are in a position where they are easily noticed, they can be criticised by someone or have mindless words thrown at them in a violent manner. [A video] described the nasty words as a monster. I could relate to that description because sometimes when I see cold or hurtful words, I think, “The person who wrote this must have been a monster in their mind, not a human being”. I try to think of it that way. Thankfully, I have received many kind words as well as hurtful ones. So I try to pay attention to those words as much as possible. I once had a fan who supported me and made an album of my work on their own. When I saw that he had written down their impressions of each of my works and put them into a book, I was moved to think that there were people who supported me so much. I’m getting such a great deal of support, so I can’t just focus on the bad words. I now feel that I should take care of those who take care of me.”
Turning points in Moka Kamishiraishi’s career so far
“… the 2018 TV drama ‘Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law Blues’ was one of the turning points in my career. At the time of filming, I felt inadequate and unable to live up to what was expected of me. I received a lot of anger on set, and there were times when I was in a lot of pain. It was a drama with a lot of comedic elements, and one day the director said to me, “You don’t look like you’re doing a play that you don’t mind embarrassing yourself in”, and I had an epiphany. It’s true that I’ve always been the shy type since I was a little girl. But I feel like that film pulled me out of my shyness. [Just as others] made their own efforts to overcome the wall when they hit it, I had an experience that made me feel like I was able to come out of my shell as a result of my worries and suffering. It was also through this encounter with the work that I discovered the joy of having the love and effort I put into my work returned in a tangible form. The experiences I had at that time have given me the confidence I have today.”
On encountering difficult experiences and difficulties
In February 2020, due to a pandemic, a play I was supposed to perform was cancelled. In fact, my 20th birthday was supposed to be the opening day of that play. Because of that, I was so depressed that I had never felt so hopeless in my life … It was my family that supported me at that time. My parents always push me and encourage me when I am depressed, and when I say something negative, they always turn it back into something positive. When the play was cancelled, my parents told me, “There will definitely come a day when you will find meaning in this painful reality. There will definitely come a time when you can see the positive in it.”
“When I was in high school, there were times when I couldn’t take the time to really get to know the role, and I felt crushed by worries that I wasn’t living up to expectations and that I shouldn’t be in this kind of place. I was worried all the time, and I felt like there was a thin membrane surrounding me, and I struggled desperately to get out of it. But then the next time I did that, the little wounds would spread through my body more and more. I often felt alone and the three years felt very long. At the worst times, the role would suck out my emotions and I would lose my feelings … It was very painful at the time. Later, however, there was a role that was possible because I had spent time in nothingness, not feeling anything. Once again, I became aware of the depth of the play, and I also realised that there are certain levels that human beings have to overcome on their own to reach a higher position. It may be a blessing to be at peace all the time. But as an actor, I think you grow more if you go through a lot of emotions, if you get hurt and lost for example. Happily, the art of acting brings all the emotions I have experienced up to that point to bear. I think that the more you live your life to the point where you are willing to go through hardships, the more you will be able to draw out of it. The eyes of people who have overcome many things are powerful, and you can feel the life force in them. I have an image that the senior actors I think are wonderful are all standing tenaciously. Now I feel that I need to experience more and more emotions in order to add depth to the roles I’m about to play.
On acting supplemented by imagination
You can only imagine what goes through your mind at the time and what it feels like to stick a blade into someone. Even in this role, it is unlikely to happen in real life that a series of classmates die. So in order to get close to Ryoko’s feelings, I imagined many things that were not written in the script. I like to write, so I always try to have time to write out my thoughts about the role before I start working on a film. I wonder what my favourite colour is, or whether I’m a cat person or a dog person etc. I like to imagine what I’ve experienced up to that point and develop my ideas about the role, like an association game. In Solomon’s Perjury, before starting filming, I would ask myself, “What kind of room is it going to be like?” I imagined every detail: ‘The cushions must be plain’, ‘The sheets must be the type that you wash frequently’. ‘I like to go into a film set to check the answers to these questions. In fact, I even want to change the handwriting style depending on the role. I imagine Ryoko will probably write intelligent handwriting.’
On what might be the key things in life
Living a normal life, I guess. For example, I try to cook for myself and boil my own bath even during busy days … If you only think about your work, your mind will become obsessed with it, so it is important to live a proper life as a human being. The other thing I do is keep a diary, which I’ve been doing every day for about 10 years. By writing down my condition in words, I can look at it objectively. Sometimes I read it over later and rediscover who I was back then. I value the process of getting to know myself through writing. Sometimes there are days when I forget to write.
On books, whose words and knowledge become additional strengths
For me, books and other cultural activities such as films and music are like food. They nourish me every day. I always have a book with me and read it in my spare time. Essays and poetry by Shuntaro Tanikawa and novels by Kanako Nishi broaden my world and horizons. When I learn or discover interesting things from books, the things I am struggling with seem small, or when I feel like I am about to give up, I remember a sentence I came across in a book and it saves my heart … It is a feeling of gradually stocking your mind with words and knowledge that support you. I believe that the accumulation of such knowledge will lead to my strength, which will help me in the most critical moments of my life.
On enthusiasm for study
I think that when you find a field you like, you want to learn more about it. In my case, that was art. I studied art at university, and recently I’ve also been studying the history of photography.
On “fight”
When I am faced with a wall that I want to overcome, I first look at it with my own eyes and try to accept it. It may be scary, but I would not turn away, but look at it and confront myself. That may be the first step in taking on this challenge for me. In the video, the social networking words change into whales and the ‘Like!’ heart symbols gathered and turned into a monster in the video. She was sometimes hurt by the attention, but I am sure she became stronger and kinder because of it. People who can keep a strong heart are probably equally kind. I thought that kindness is also a part of people’s strength.
On “challenge”
There is not so much fear that is unimaginable. When you try something for the first time, you get anxious, but people likely only worry about the past and the future. If you concentrate on the present, you don’t have time to be anxious, and nothing is so hard as to be beyond your imagination. If you don’t worry too much and just plunge in with courage, you’ll get over it more often than you think!
On encouragement
Even though we had a very hard schedule, she was always smiling and was like the sun. I learnt a lot from her behaviour as she exchanged words with the staff. I am also energised by the activities of other colleagues of my generation. They are all so sparkling that I feel like I too am given a sparkle … I feel like they are my ‘comrades’ and I value them very much.
On expression
I have been saved by the culture of music, books and films. So I would be happy if many people could discover the beauty of art through the works I am involved in, whether they are plays or music. Art has the power to save people. I hope that more people can feel that, just as I did. I would be very happy if what I express could be a part of that, if it could help someone. Even though it is said that the gender gap is getting smaller, there are still many barriers that women have to face. I would like to emphasise the importance of communicating the discomfort I usually feel, even if it is a small thing, without being afraid to do so. Actually, I am the type of person who can’t say anything too strongly. But communicating may not only be in the form of speaking out. In my case, singing or acting may be a way of communicating. My goal is to be a strong and kind woman who can express what she wants to say.
On piano and music
Mone: I studied piano from kindergarten to primary school. I was influenced by my mother, who held piano lessons at home. But it was difficult for me to sit still in a chair and face the piano… I was a restless child (laughs). Before I knew it, my interest shifted to singing and dancing. A few years ago, I was given the role of a maiko, and I was a high school student at the time, but I was taught to play the shamisen and the tsuzumi (drum). I also like to play the guitar and have been playing it a lot recently. I have also continued to play the piano since I played in this film. Right now, when I’m at home, the most refreshing time for me is when I’m playing the piano and guitar. I’m an omnivore, I listen to a wide range of music, I love J-pop and I also listen to rock music, both Western and Japanese. I also like musical music and film music. The piano music that was playing on the set all the time is one of the things that soothes me, so I always have a few songs ready to listen to whenever I want. I felt again that the piano is a truly beautiful instrument. Director Kojiro Hashimoto is a filmmaker who captures the expression of the piano in a way I have never seen before, and during the preview screening I was moved to find new charms of the piano many times, despite having performed on it. I particularly want to try the ukulele, which is close to my hobby of guitar. I would also like to try the saxophone and drums.
Moka: I have no experience. I saw my sister being instructed by my mother, and as a child I was determined that I wouldn’t do it. So I was a complete beginner until I played this role. I trained hard to become Yuni (the name of the role), who plays energetic songs that make you want to skip. I played the tuba when I was cast in a film about a brass band. I also played the trumpet during the filming of a drama. Looking back, I play a lot of brass instruments. People say the tuba is difficult, but I was able to make a sound rather quickly. I gave up playing it because it was too heavy to continue. Recently I’ve been playing the guitar too. I want to be able to play the guitar, so I’m practising with my sister. I usually listen to Japanese rock music. I also became interested in classical music after appearing in this film, so I love to spend time relaxing at home with piano music or orchestral pieces by people I’ve worked with as background music. Pianos are perfect in terms of their tone and their appearance. It is the king of musical instruments. The sound changes depending on who plays it, and I feel that it is very deep. I am grateful to the director and Yuni for making me realise this. I love the harp because it looks and sounds beautiful. I also like the bass guitar. As for percussion instruments, I’m interested in the timpani.
A good actor has an insatiable appetite for personal growth, deepening and change. This is because their overflowing curiosity is directed towards the essence of the human being.
On observing an actual court case
“I thought about how prosecutors read out the transcripts of interviews in a matter-of-fact way. I took notes on what I noticed. Whether or not I could apply that to the actual trial scene, I wanted to experience various realities. I also read back my diary from when I was in high school … But perhaps the thing that helped me the most while actually acting was the uniform. It had been a long time since I had worn a uniform, but going into the trial, the uniforms felt like our battle uniforms. We all had the same design, so it was like we were all united on the set”
On Miyabe Miyuki’s work which 15 years to conceive and nine years to write, which is regarded as a milestone in mystery
In the story of a junior high school student’s in-school trial to pursue the truth behind the death of a classmate, I felt I was confronted with the questions of ‘what is truth’, ‘what is falsehood’ and ‘what is justice’. I thought it was fascinating to see students confront adults with the sensitivities and conflicts unique to adolescence. Children tend to believe what adults say, but in the film, the children question the adults and try to find justice on their own. When I was shown their energy and sense of justice, I felt a tremendous shock, as if I had been hit on the head with a hammer. Aside from the message of the story, I was also overwhelmed by the energy radiating from the play, as most of the cast members chosen through auditions were of the same generation.
Moka Kamishiraishi’s career sets a high standard and portrays the best of our (2000-born) generation’s values
Just going by these excerpts, a diligent reader can tell that the dragon generation is most likely going to be a strong contender in all fields traditionally dominated by the older generations. We are strong, smart, ever-evolving, resilient, bright, vibrant, passionate, flexible, intellectual, courageous, and clear minded, and even more. Perhaps actors cannot represent a generation, yet their work is surely based on their observation of a diverse range of people working in various roles, and on their experience growing up with fellow peers and ‘comrades’.
This impression is further reinforced by any survey of the 2000-borns who are pro football players, medal-winning Olympic athletes, world-renowned chess players, or actors. There are interesting impressions to be gained from those who are chosen to receive public attention. It may even ‘energise’ you in ways that others cannot.
It’s good to put your personal development into perspective, by going through the famous, influential, and/or powerful people of your generation. Their failures and successes may also be valuable lessons, and the shared underlying values of our generation are further reinforced by the fact that they are the people the other generations will think of when thinking about what this generation stands for. But that is about as much use as it could ever have. Your life is most likely on an entirely different trajectory. Freedom from society’s expectations, strictures, boundaries, criticisms, and historical forces means that our generation actually shares very little, other than our use of the Internet perhaps.
